Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The dangers of carrying a torch for a past love


Relationships end for many reasons - some have dramatic endings and leave scars behind to that remind us of how glad we are that the relationship ended.  Then there is the reverse - the relationship just ends and there are not solid reasons why.  You either just drift or one moved to another state and keeping in touch becomes increasingly difficult.

In the situation of the move, sometimes there is a lot of unresolved issues and therein lies the danger.  When we drift we tend to store away memories in a box, tied up with pretty ribbons and we occasional open the box as a feel good fuse as we stroll down memory lane.  As time passes unfortunately we age but seldom do we remember to age the contents of the box accordingly.

As luck would have it, one day we get that surprise telephone call or email - "I am in town can we meet?"  We go to our pretty box for a quick refresher and in no time we are like a lovesick school girl giddy with excitement at the thought of reacquainting with a lost love - "the one that got away."

Nothing prepares you for the shock.  In it all, we are our own worst enemy because our memories are never to the point.  For those that disappointed us they might as well have been a serial killer.  For those that left us still wanting more we romanticize absolutely everything and in the end the avatar in our head could not be further away from the real person who we finally sit down with at our local Starbucks. 

It will be the longest short meeting you will have ever had (that is hoping of course you were wise enough to start off with a coffee and didn’t go full on with dinner.  At which point you just want to get away!).  In short try not to carry a torch for a past love for seldom do they live up to our romanticized version of themselves.

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